Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so I could slap eight people at once
May 2012
4794:
sometimes i think i want a relationship but then i take a nap and don’t want one anymore
dont joke about murder i was murdered once and it offends me
you’re not allowed to like the same stuff as me because i hate you
“You can have a very intense relationship with fictional characters because they are in your own head.”
—J.K. Rowling (via hbks)
i wonder what it’s like to have a favourite character who’s still alive
i hate going to school because i always see people from school there
throwing ducks at pieces of bread at your local park.
- wants to lose weight
- doesn’t enjoy movement
- isn’t good at sport
- enjoys food
- we have a problem
- everyone: it's just a book
- you: YOU KNOW NOTHING
you know what’s really weird? the fact that you’ll never actually be able to see yourself in real life. like you can see yourself in mirrors and reflections but you’ll never in your life see what you really look like
Attachment leads to expectations. Expectations lead to disappointment.
When I feel sad and lonely, watching Ellen Degeneres episodes makes me feel better.
raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are one of the reasons i have trust issues
People don’t get that the ones googling “what’s the difference between peanut butter and jam” are How I Met Your Mother fans.
And the answer’s good.
Just so yew noe.
- person: are u ok
- me: no i'm kawaii thanks for asking
- me: baka (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ *:･ﾟ✧*
imagine an entire room and it’s all bed
no floor, just bed
you roll too far to one side? don’t worry, bed’s still there
all is bed
“Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.”
—
Joseph Addison (via legitimusmaximus)
you know you’re my friend if
- i hit on you a lot
- i insult you a lot
- i constantly tell you that i hate you
I want to move out just so that I can not wear pants everywhere and it’d be okay.
why do i keep losing followers
where are you all going
can i come
Something tumblr has taught me
“because of reasons” is always a legitimate reason
How to say 'love' in 15 languages.
- French: fromage
- Spanish: queso
- Italian: formaggio
- Portuguese: queijo
- German: Käse
- Dutch: kaas
- Chinese: 奶酪
- Japanese:チーズ
- Hindi:पनीर
- Arabic: جبنة
- Russian:сыр
- Greek:τυρί
- Irish:cáis
- Welsh:caws
- English:cheese
I'm assuming the London Olympics will have Quidditch
- clock: wake up
- me: no
- bed: i lov u
- me: i lov u 2
- mom: wake up
- me: they dont understand our luv
MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOOOOOONNNN!!!
“you’re so hot,” i whispered
as i took my plate of food out of the microwave
- me: I should go shower now
- (five minutes later)
- (another five minutes later)
- (yet another five minutes later)
- (more five minute intervals)
- someone: (goes into the bathroom)
- me: wow fuck you I was JUST about to go take a shower
